100 ways to improve your mental health

We’ve reached a milestone today – this is my 100th post! To celebrate, I decided to make a list of 100 things. The most helpful idea that came to mind was ways to improve mental health, so here it is. I have broken the list down into categories so that you can find the ones that are the most relevant for what you are working on. (Another milestone: Happy birthday, A. You’re my favorite.)

  

Stockimages/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Emotionally

1. Honor your emotions for what they are and accept them fully.

2. Do something that makes you happy every day.

3. Remember that feelings are temporary; they will always change.

4. Express your emotions creatively.

5. Ask for help when you feel overwhelmed.

6. Know when to back out of a situation.

7. Stop your thinking and ask yourself what you are actually feeling and why.

8. Use a feelings chart to identify what you are experiencing.

9. Surround yourself with little things that make you happy – flowers, art, scented candles, etc.

10. Find positive and uplifting entertainment.

Keerati/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Mentally

11. Stay in the present.

12. Deal with stress as it comes up.

13. Eliminate bad habits. 

14. Set realistic goals and work towards them.

15. Stop using negative words to describe yourself.

16. Reward yourself for doing difficult things.

17. Take a break when you need it.

18. Find new ways to do things.

19. Stop and consider other perspectives on what you’re experiencing.

20. Use good common sense.

                                                                                              Physically

Stockimages/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

21. Exercise regularly.

22. Take time to relax.

23. Eat three meals a day.

24. Take your medication as prescribed.

25. Stay at a healthy weight. 

26. Get enough sleep.

27. See a doctor when you need to.

28. Choose healthy food.

29. Stay away from harmful substances.

30. Love your body as best you can.

Photostock/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Socially

31. Rely on your support system.

32. Spend time with other people regularly.

33. Be a helpful friend.

34. Respect the needs of others and expect that they do the same.

35. Engage in volunteer work.

36. Eliminate negative influences in your life.

37. Set and keep healthy boundaries.

38. Make time for yourself.

39. Be clear in your communication.

40. Be considerate.

Sira Anamwong/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Intellectually

41. Be educated about your disorder(s).

42. Learn something new every day.

43. Study things you genuinely find interesting.

44. Study something you know absolutely nothing about.

45. Do mind exercises like sudoku, crossword puzzles and word games.

46. Talk to other people about what they do.

47. Take an evening or community course.

48. Think up funny jokes and witty responses.

49. Take notes when you are learning about something. Refer to them later.

50. Do calculations in your head instead of using your phone.

Spiritually

tiverylucky/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

51. Practice mindfulness

52. Meditate and/or pray.

53. Eliminate unhealthy beliefs.

54. Rely on a higher power.

55. Learn about the beliefs of others.

56. Journal about your spiritual experiences.

57. Share your spiritual experiences with open-minded loved ones.

58. Forgive.

59. Find or decide on your life’s purpose and live it.

60. Stay true to what you believe.

                                                             Environmentally

                                                             61. Surround yourself with beautiful things.

marcolm/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

62. Hang up motivational posters.

63. Spend time in nature.

64. Keep your home clean.

65. Use sticky notes to post affirmations where you’ll see them frequently.

66. Support any environmental causes you believe in.

67. Use your resources well.

68. Take basic safety precautions.

69. Repair broken things so they don’t continue to frustrate you.

70. Stay organized.

Occupationally

71. Do things you love.

Ambro/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

72. Know your limits when it comes to work.

73. Develop schedules and routines.

74. Simplify your work.

75. Get support from colleagues when necessary.

76. Keep good boundaries between your personal and professional lives.

77. Compliment coworkers on a job well done.

78. If you are unhappy in your job, look for a new one.

79. Multitask less.

80. Take a day off when you need to.

stockimages/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Self-care

81. Journal regularly. 

82. Go for a walk.

83. Make your favorite meal.

84. Use grounding techniques.

85. Have a list of coping skills.

86. Be patient.

87. Keep a gratitude journal.

88. Go easy on yourself.

89. Respect yourself.

Other

Gualberto107/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

91. Stand up for yourself.

92. Believe you can get better.

93. Keep a beginner’s mindset.

94. Learn from every experience.

95. Keep some money in savings.

96. Have alternatives for self-destructive behaviors.

97. Be prepared for change.

98. Have a safety plan.

99. Stay progress-oriented.

100. Make a list of personal reasons to recover.

Do you have any tips to add? Please do so in the comments!

A case for family treatment

We cannot escape family. Their presence or absence will always impact us on some level because family is interconnected in a way that nothing else is. It’s foundational to who we are. A family can be composed in many ways – with blood being only one possible tie – and we will all have different “families” throughout our lifetimes. Sometimes we may be more alone than others, but we all started in a family and that is paramount to the people we become.

There’s an analogy that compares a family to a mobile or a wind chime. There are independent units, but you can’t move one without moving the others. Everything we do impacts our families – and everything they do impacts us. For instance, if a child graduates high school and moves out to go to college, the family has to readjust to the environment without that person. This can mean practical changes, such as redistributing chores, or emotional ones, like when the sibling closest to the one who moved feels left out and has to form new bonds with the remaining family.

  

Photostock/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There’s a concept in psychology called the “identified patient” (IP). The IP is the family member who has a “problem.” This could be an alcoholic parent, a child failing out of school or someone struggling with physical or mental illness. Everyone else in the family can convince themselves that they are okay because they are not the IP. In this way, all the problems of the entire family get shifted on to one person. 

This isn’t done with bad intentions. Often, the family has benevolent or fond feelings for the IP. A wife will make excuses for her partner’s absences due to a drug problem in order to save face or get him off the hook. A parent gives a child lots of attention because she’s acting out at school. A teenager is happy to have an ill brother because he distracts the parents so she can rebel. This isn’t the family being mean. It’s the family adjusting.

These adjustments that are made for the IP do, however, have consequences. The wife is saving the husband from the repercussions of his drug problem, enabling him to continue to use. The siblings of the “problem child” feel like their parents don’t care about them. The sister gets in trouble because the parents were busy caring for the sick brother. Trying to cover up the problem is just creating more problems, but because they aren’t the IP, the other family members eschew their own troubles in favor of those of the IP.

Remember that mobile? One person “moves” by having a problem and everyone else shifts their problems somewhere else. 

This brings up the question of where the real problem lies. Is the identified patient of concern, or is it the family as a whole? What starts out as an obstacle for one family member can set off a chain reaction wherein everyone becomes involved.

So what happens when the IP gets better? First of all, the family often stands in the way of the IP improving. If her problems are resolved, then theirs become real again. While the family wants what’s best for the IP, they also want to retain the balance they have established. They might even fear becoming the next IP because the family doesn’t know how to function without one. 

This is why family treatment is so important. It allows all the cards to be put on the table, making it easier to notice connections between family members and their various problems. Sometimes, having a mental health professional take a look at your family unit as a whole can help all of the family better understand what is going on and how to make the family healthier. Everyone’s problems get a chance to be addressed, not just the IP. A good therapist will know not to blame the IP for everything.

   

Hin255/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Family treatment can cause upset, though. It’s a time of change as new habits and coping skills need to be put in place. It will bring out all sorts of things that no one knew were there and things might even feel worse for a while. But having the family unit heal both individually and as a whole is worth it. There is no price for having stronger, healthier bonds and better problem management. 

When each family member learns to see what he contributes to the problem, he can learn valuable information about how he relates to others, which will be useful in any type of relationship. As she examines her real issues and how she displaces them, she can learn to take more responsibility and thereby have more control over her life. None of us exist in isolation and none of us can heal that way.
                                                                                                                   Individual and common concerns are intricately
                                                                                                                   interwoven.

Even if all the family members aren’t struggling, consider getting treatment together anyway. If nothing else, the love and support shown by joining the treatment is irreplaceable. There is work that simply cannot be done in individual therapy. Besides, by learning healthier patterns, you can improve the lives of the generations to come by having and teaching the skills necessary to have a healthy and happy family.

Have you had any experiences with family treatment? Post your experience in the comments.

7 alternatives to harmful behavior

Mental illness does not just affect our minds and our thoughts. It affects our behavior. There are things that people struggling with mental health will do that helps them feel better, but are actually more damaging in the long run. These include self-injury, substance abuse, eating disordered behaviors, acting out obsessions, lashing out at others and more.

 

marin/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It can be difficult to stay away from harmful behaviors, especially during times of great distress. This is why it is important to have alternate ways of coping. It can take a long time to change harmful behaviors, as they do serve a purpose. As a starting point, though, here are some ideas of what you could do instead of engaging in harmful behavior.

1. Replacement behaviors
If you don't want to engage in a destructive behavior, replace it with something else. People use this strategy all the time to quit smoking by sucking on hard candy, chewing gum or playing with putty to give their hands something to do. In other cases, this could mean drawing on yourself with a red marker instead of cutting or drinking tasty non-alcoholic beverages when you feel the urge to drink. The point is to put something less harmful in the place of the old behavior.

2. Creative expression
You can engage the emotions you are feeling without engaging in the behavior that usually
accompanies it. Try to take that energy that is pushing you towards self-destruction and let it live out another way through using it as fuel for creativity. What does your drug use look like when painted as an animal? What would your eating disorder say if it were a character in a novel about your life? Looking at your behavior from a creative perspective can also help you see things differently, which is a good start for more permanent change.

3. Talk to someone
You don't have to go through tough times alone. If you are worried that you'll engage in harmful behavior, see if you can spend time with someone else. You can talk about what is triggering your desire to engage in the behavior or you can just try to focus on something else now that you're not alone. If you don't have someone to spend time with, see if you can call someone. If there's no one to call, try writing an email to someone you trust. Involving another person can make it easier to resist.

4. Write it out
Written expression can help calm down feelings that surround destructive behaviors. There are many ways you can do this. You can try to process what you are feeling through journaling. You can vent out everything that's causing you distress and tear the paper into as many pieces as you'd like. You can write a letter to bring to your therapist the next session. The point is to communicate instead of act.

5. Distraction
Sometimes, it is better to get your mind on something else. My mother would say that if you're feeling miserable, you might as well clean. If you're able to, you can use the stress you are under to accomplish another task. Not all of us can do that, though, and self-care is an excellent way of distracting. You can use this activity in advance to come up with things to do.

6. Take out your frustration on something inanimate
At times, people feel so much tension, pain, anger and frustration that they can't slow down and do something else. In this case, let the damage be something inanimate, not your body or another person. Sit in your parked car with loud music on and yell at whoever or whatever is causing you problems. Punch a pillow or even your whole mattress. Destry things that won't harm you in a disassembled state (yes on tearing up a pillow; no on breaking glass). Redirecting your emotions allows you to feel catharsis without causing any actual harm.

7. Reward yourself
For some people, having a reward system helps keep dangerous behaviors in check. This can have as much or as little structure as you'd like. It might be a system set up in advance where you have a list of rewards for making it X amount of days without engaging in harmful behavior. It could also be having a secret snack stash or video game that you gain access to only when you are actively controlling your impulses. Some people like having a visual reminder of how long they've made it without those behaviors. You know yourself best, so find what motivates you and use it to stop yourself from doing further harm.


What do you find helps when you feel like engaging in harmful behaviors? Trade tips in the comments.

Lapse, relapse and recovery

Part of recovery is relapse. It's almost expected. At some point, after things have gotten better, they'll probably get worse again. The truth is, though, that your attitude towards relapses will have a big impact on how you handle them and whether you can use them to grow.

   

Witthaya Phonsawat/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

First of all, a relapse can be many things. It might be returning to substance abuse or self-injurious behaviors. It can also be falling into another depressive episode or having obsessive thoughts again. It is an increase in symptoms that you have previously managed to reduce.

Then there's the definition of relapse. Some people think that any step backwards is a "relapse." The thing is, there is a difference between a lapse and a relapse. A lapse is engaging in a behavior or experiencing an increase in symptoms. Lapses happen to the best of us. They are not the same as a relapse, which is a series of lapses that put you back into the state of illness you were in before.


Some mindsets, such as that of Alcoholics Anonymous and other groups in that tradition, say that a lapse means you're back at day one. This can be very discouraging. But it's not the only way to view it. A lapse can be a learning experience. It tells you about what triggers your symptoms and what your areas of weakness are. This allows you to become stronger in your recovery.

If you experience a lapse, don't give up and give in. Messing up once or having a bad day doesn't mean you have to start over. It doesn't mean you're having a relapse. It just means that you now know what you need to work on. Resist the urge to fall back into old patterns. Take the time to think and maybe journal about what happened and why. Share these thoughts with your therapist, who can help you come up with strategies to avoid similar pitfalls in the future.

Sometimes lapses do add up, though, and become a relapse. While not ideal, this is perfectly normal. But if you could become better once, you can do it again. Stay open and honest with your therapist and support system. If you are struggling, let someone know. It is easier to get back on track with someone cheering you on. Keeping secrets is a sign of trouble.

Every day you spend free of destructive behaviors or symptoms of illness should be celebrated. Whether or not all of those days are in a row is secondary. Each time you make the choice to be healthy, you are right to be proud of yourself. Whether you had a single lapse or are in a full relapse, recovery is still an option. Life has lots of ups and downs. It's what you do with them that matters.


What has your experience been with lapses and relapses? What keeps you on track towards recovery? Share your thoughts in the comments. 

5 ways to support a loved one in inpatient treatment

Sometimes, mental illness or substance abuse requires more intensive treatment than can be provided on an outpatient basis. Situations like being suicidal, the inability to get substance abuse under control, going through a medication change or an eating disorder becoming life-threatening call for inpatient treatment. The amount of time someone is gone varies, too – rehab can take months while most stays at the psychiatric ward of a local hospital are only a few days. The uncertainty of how long it will take can make the situation even more distressing.

Graur Razvan Ionut/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

While this is a lot to deal with for the patient, it also leaves loved ones not knowing what they can do. Visiting hours are often very restricted and you might not even know if your loved one wants you to come. Besides, these programs are sometimes pretty involved, with individual counseling, doctor’s visits, group therapy, psychoeducational classes and more. You want to help; it’s just hard to know what to do.

In these times, grand actions are not very viable. It’s the simple shows of support that end up being meaningful. Following is a list of suggestions for showing that you care. Keep in mind, however, that the rules and policies of each treatment center varies. If you are uncertain of whether a specific item is permitted, call the unit your loved one is staying at and ask a staff member. 

1. Let him know you are there for him… 

An in-patient stay cuts someone away from the world, leaving most of society’s currently used methods of communication off limits. She likely won’t have access to her cell phone or the Internet. This brings up the question of the best way to show support. Even if your relationship is close, he might not be ready to accept you reaching out. A card or a letter is a non-threatening way to show support that allows her to decide if she wants to give you a call or invite you over to visit. Include your phone number, as he might not have it memorized.

2. …but respect her privacy. 

Because it is closed off, knowledge of what goes on within the program can seem mysterious to outsiders. Your curiosity might naturally be piqued, however. But unless you are the parent of a minor, you most likely don’t have a right to know what is going on. You have to trust that the treatment team has the situation under control and will make good decisions. If your loved one wants to talk about his treatment, he will. Be nonjudgmental and a good listener. Avoid giving advice at this time. Besides, after a long day of processing issues and psychoeducational material, hearing about the latest game or celebrity gossip might actually be relaxing. 

3. Pictures 

Due to risks of patients harming themselves or others, there are a lot of restricted items in the inpatient setting. Pieces of paper, however, are generally considered benign, so bring pictures. Don’t just stick with family portraits. Go to your loved one’s Facebook page and print out a few of her having fun with her friends or on a vacation. A picture of a beloved pet can also be appreciated. If your loved one has a strong attachment to a particular location, a photograph of a place that soothes her can also be calming. If permitted, bring Blu-Tack so he can hang them up. Frames will not be allowed, at least not with the glass in.

4. Entertainment 

Despite intensive treatment, there is downtime. If left with the facility’s resources, however, your loved one might spend a lot of time coloring pictures with crayons or playing checkers. While often highly regulated, entertainment is appreciated. Some books and magazines are restricted based on the content, but you probably won’t know until you get there, as it is very arbitrary. Less frequently, a center might allow an iPod or MP3 player. They may, however, require a small speaker, as headphones can be a safety risk. With this, it’s especially important to talk to the staff before you bring something over.

5. Something from home

It is normal to get homesick when in an inpatient setting, seeing as one is pulled away from all the comforts one is used to. Bringing something meaningful from home can ease some of that feeling. Take over a favorite stuffed animal, pillow or blanket. A small, unbreakable trinket with personal significance can be a lovely connection to home. Avoid brining valuable or irreplaceable items. Not all inpatient stays are planned, so a fresh change of clothes can be much appreciated. If you are allowed to bring food or treats, a comfort food can also mean a lot. A connection to life outside the treatment center can serve as a lifeline when treatment is at its toughest.

Have you spent time in an inpatient unit? What shows of support did you find helpful? Add to the list in the comments.

10 signs of mental illness you should never ignore

   

stockimages/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

There are a lot of symptoms of mental illness, more than anyone can list off the top of their heads. But some are more severe than others. Here are a few of the ones where you should immediately seek advice from a mental health professional. 

1. Hallucinations

Hallucinations are experiencing the presence of something that is actually not there. Visual and auditory hallucinations are the most well-known, but they can also be smells, tastes, tactile stimulation and more. Hallucinations are a symptom of several serious mental illnesses, so they should always be taken seriously. It is possible that there is a more benign explanation – it could be a lack of sleep or the side effect of a medication. But it can be difficult to judge what the  cause of a hallucination is,
                                                                                                                   meaning that a professional evaluation is called for.

2. Antisocial behavior

Antisocial behavior is not a reference to being introverted and liking alone time; rather, it’s deviating from the norms and laws of society. This often is expressed through aggressiveness, dishonesty, disregard for safety and criminal behavior. Antisocial actions can have long-lasting consequences for both the person performing them and for others, so it’s important to get it under control. When there’s a pattern of these types of behaviors, it’s important to seek help in order to prevent more permanent damage.

3. Identity confusion

There are times when people start questioning who they really are and what they want their lives to look like. Adolescence and mid-life crises are a couple examples. But if taken too far, this uncertainty is potentially dangerous. If someone suddenly abandons what was previously loved and don’t know what to replace them with, it could be a sign that something more serious is going on. At the extreme, there might be complete blank on who one is, which can be indicative of amnesia. It’s important to talk to a mental health professional to identify the cause of losing one’s sense of self.

4. Mania

Everyone gets worked up and excited sometimes, leading to increased activity in one’s life. But sometimes, it becomes out of control. If someone has persistent and abnormal elevated or irritable moods for over a week, it might be a manic episode. These episodes, a hallmark of bipolar disorder, might present with an inflated sense of self-esteem, a decreased need for sleep, racing thoughts, distractibility, being unusually productive or engaging in behaviors that will have serious negative consequences. Because of the lasting impact these episodes can have on one’s life, professional help is warranted.

5. Learning difficulties

It’s normal to struggle with learning sometimes. We are all better at some things than others. But when someone is, in at least one area, several grade levels below where one should be, it could be a learning disability. This doesn’t mean that someone’s stupid, but rather indicates a lack of the ability to learn in certain areas. Learning difficulties could also be indicative of a high level of distress, which needs to come down before one can resume regular patterns of learning. A sharp change in one’s ability, like suddenly being unable to perform tasks one could do before, should also be looked into.

6. Self-injury

Self-injury is indicative of severe distress. It often means that someone is in a lot of pain and is unable to cope with it in a healthy way. Self-injurious behaviors include cutting, burning, bruising, interfering with wound healing and intentionally sustaining injuries. While most of the time there is no intent to cause lasting damage, it might happen anyway. This is one reason why, when someone engages in self-injury, it’s important to intervene. Talking with a therapist can help in terms of finding healthier alternatives and in understanding what caused the behavior in the first place.

stockimages/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

7. Delusions

Delusions are beliefs that are unique to oneself and that contradict the generally accepted reality. Some examples include believing that one is under surveillance by the government without sufficient reason; thinking a song was written about oneself despite never even having met the artist; and insistence that a partner is cheating despite a complete lack of evidence. Something like believing in alien visitations or prevalent conspiracy theories are not delusions, as they are beliefs shared by lots of people. Delusions can seriously impact quality of life and might even lead to people making dangerous decisions, so talking to a professional is important.

8. Substance abuse

As discussed in an earlier post, substance abuse is highly correlated with mental illness. The two can feed off of each other, with substances being used to mask symptoms which in turn become worse due to the substances. While not all substance abuse is indicative of mental illness, it is a serious problem that should be addressed either way. It can also cause physical health problems or lead to acting impulsively in a risky way. There are lots of professionals that specialize in treating substance abuse, so find someone with experience.

9. Major shifts in personality/goals

People are generally pretty consistent in how they act and what they want. While some variations are normal, like deciding to end a relationship or to take up a new hobby, there are times when changes can be a cause for alarm. These changes are more notable when they occur rapidly. A consistently cheery person might abruptly become frequently cynical or someone may suddenly drop out of school despite indications that things were going well. It is important to take a good look at what caused these types of change, as they can be a sign of distress or mental illness. 

10. Suicidal thoughts

Thoughts of suicide should always be addressed. The risks that come with brushing it off or not seeking help are not worth it. Suicides have permanent impacts on both those who commit them and their loved ones. It’s not a decision that happens and stays in a vacuum. Surviving a suicide attempt can also lead to lasting health problems. If you feel like ending your life or suspect someone else might, talk to a professional. The earlier one gets help, the easier treatment will likely be. To learn about what suicidal people talk about, read this. I have also put together a list of hotlines, which can be found here. 

What symptoms made you seek help? Have you seen these signs in a loved one and encouraged him or her to get help? Let us know in the comments.

Make a 5-step safety plan right now

In the midst of a crisis, it’s hard to think clearly and make good decisions. That’s why it’s important to know ahead of times what to do when the going gets tough. A safety plan gives you a template for action when you are feeling suicidal, tempted to self-harm, drawn into addictions, engaging in unhealthy behaviors or feeling self-destructive. 

Having a written safety plan can be a huge help when you’re symptomatic, so let’s make one. One way of doing this is by looking at all the questions surrounding the issue. By using those five Ws, you can pretty quickly explore the many facets of staying safe. Grab a piece of paper or copy the questions into your word processor and finish this post with a safety plan in hand. 

 

adamr/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Who can I talk to?

You don’t have to go through tough times alone. Write down the people in your support system who are good listeners and who know how to make you feel better. Include their addresses, phone numbers and/or email addresses just in case you don’t have access to that information. Put a suggestion by each name stating what this person can be helpful for, like “Call my boyfriend to hear why I am loved,” or “Visit my mom to get advice.” 

What can I do to feel better?

Think about difficult times in the past and try to identify what, exactly, you were feeling and maybe even what caused those feelings. By identifying what’s setting you off, you can better find ways to manage it. Write a list of your most common triggers and a healthy way to deal with each one. This might look like “When I feel scared to go outside, I can have someone come with me,” or “When I am disappointed, I can create a gratitude list.”

When do I need to seek help?

Know your limits. Create a guide showing what to do at the different stages you might escalate through. This takes away the decision making element that can be overwhelming when you are upset. It could look something like this: “Feeling sad: Go for a walk. Wanting to hurt myself: Spend time around friends. Engaged in self-injury: Care for my wounds, then do something nice for myself. Feeling suicidal: E-mail my therapist. Actively suicidal: Call a suicide hotline or 911.”

Where can I go?

Sometimes a change of scenery can make all the difference. Make a list of places that you enjoy or that are helpful to you. While still being safe, make sure you have options for both day and night, even if it’s just a different room in the house. Some places you might want to consider are the homes of loved ones, support groups, your favorite park, a local coffee shop, the library, a scenic route for driving or even your own backyard.

Why should I not do this?

Make a list of all the reasons acting on your impulses aren’t a good idea. Acknowledge the negative consequences, but make sure to also stay positive. Having something worth not giving in for is really helpful. This could range from “I want to keep my body healthy,” to “I want to reach three months without this behavior,” or simply, “I deserve to be happy.” If you need help getting started, a list of reasons to recover can be found here.

Keep copies of your safety plan in accessible places, like in your purse, wallet, backpack, car, nightstand, comfort box and on your phone. You can also give them to people you trust who will notice when you are having a tough time so that they’ll have a guide for how to best help you. If you haven’t already been following along, I really suggest you do this. Having a safety plan is invaluable when you are in the midst of being symptomatic. It’s a lot easier to think of things now than in the moment.

What did you include in your safety plans? Is something important missing? Make suggestions in the comments.

Diagnosis spotlight: depersonalization/derealization disorder

We all experience dissociation in some way or another. It can be as simple as highway hypnosis, where you suddenly realize you’ve driven for miles without noticing, and as complicated as dissociative identity disorder, formerly known as multiple personality disorder. Somewhere in-between, there is depersonalization/derealization disorder.

First of all, what are depersonalization and derealization?

Depersonalization refers to a distortion in self-awareness. You are, in a sense, unfamiliar with yourself. One typically experiences detachment from the body or the sense that it is unreal. It can even mean watching yourself from outside your body. The self just doesn’t feel real and things might seem like a part of a dream. It can also be watching yourself go about your day and making decisions, but not really feeling in control. Time might also be distorted and there can be physical and/or emotional numbing. 

Derealization is when everything else doesn’t feel real. Your surroundings might feel foggy, distorted, unreal or, again, like a dream. People, places and things that may be familiar seem strange or surreal. It’s hard to fully perceive the world around yourself and it might seem like you are watching everything through a filter of sorts. It can be like living in a bubble. What is around you is very separate from you and it can be hard to fully engage in life. 

Depersonalization/derealization disorder means having episodes of one or both of these. It can be accompanied with a feeling that you’re “going crazy.” There might also be vague physical symptoms, like tingling or lightheadedness. It is often associated with anxiety and/or depression. 

Approximately one-half of adults have had an episode of depersonalization or derealization. It happens. But when it is recurring or even constant, it can become pathological. Onset is almost always before age 25, so it’s something that can be experienced from a very young age. Childhood trauma is considered one of the causes of depersonalization and derealization, but it can happen without it. Symptoms can also be caused by physical conditions or substance use, so those need to be ruled out. Episodes are often preceded by high levels of stress, anxiety, depression, traumatic events (or reminders of them) and/or drug use.

Both therapy and medication are used to treat depersonalization/derealization disorder. In particular, cognitive behavioral therapy allows people to reinterpret the symptoms and psychodynamic therapy can look at unresolved and suppressed internal conflicts. Medication-wise, nothing has been approved specifically for the treatment of this disorder, but anxiety medication and anti-depressants have shown some success. There is also research supporting the use of lamotrigine, an anti-convulsant typically used to treat epilepsy. Using grounding techniques can also be very helpful.

Having the experiences of depersonalization and derealization can be very frightening. But it is a recognized mental health condition and a notable amount of people experience it. If you feel like the symptoms described apply to you, please talk to a doctor or therapist. It is possible to gain control over it enough to where it is not interfering with your life, if it doesn’t go away altogether. 

Have you experienced depersonalization or derealization? What was it like for you? Share your experience in the comments.

Have hope – it will change

  

Jeanne Claire Maarbes/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Mental illness has a way of trapping you into thinking that you are stuck in it forever. A depressed person doesn’t lay in bed for three weeks and say, “Two more and I’m good.” Someone doesn’t think, “I’ll have five more panic attacks and then I’m done.” It’s pervasive. And even if you can logically convince yourself that it isn’t going to last forever, it’s hard to believe it enough to get the accompanying feeling of relief. It’s like a kid the week before Christmas. It drags on forever. 

The point is, though, that it isn’t forever. Like I said, it’s hard to believe. Really hard. But it’s true. There is an end to it. Even if you are suffering from a lifelong condition, the way it manifests will change. There will be variation. The pain you are feeling won’t feel the same way for the rest of your days. 

There is always change. If you aren’t changing, the world around you is. You might not be capable of changing yourself at the moment. That’s okay. Some days/weeks/months/years/decades are like that. But others aren’t. An acquaintance might transform into a good friend. A family member might have a burst of inspiration that results in him being more helpful. Your therapist can learn something new about your diagnosis and apply it to your treatment. You have to believe in change.

Change happens on larger scales, too. Psychologists do studies to find out which treatments are more effective and why. Scientists invent new medications. People learn to become more sensitive to mental health issues. You never know when the next breakthrough is around the corner.

That is why you have to believe that change is possible. It’s happening around you all the time. But it is possible for change to happen to you as well. It might take a really long time, but it does happen. I tried several different medications of a certain class before we found one that worked. Did it suck until we found it? Yeah. Did some of them make me worse? Yes. But when we did find it, it made my life easier. I was in therapy for seven years before I decided to take a chance on a new treatment approach and it transformed my life. I’ve had bad relationships. If I had given up on people, I would not have a boyfriend that makes me better every single day.

You never know how long it will take to change and that’s scary. It really is. I spent over a decade almost constantly fighting with a certain terrible feeling before it subsided. If you’d told me at the start that that’s how long it would take, I might have given up before even trying to get better. That amount of time is overwhelming. But it is a lot shorter than the rest of my life.

Stockimages/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I’ve asked myself if it was worth it. How long can you endure misery before the chance of getting better is no longer worth it? There were times when I would have said not another day. Sometimes, I would have said that ridiculously many days in a row. But part of me didn’t let go. And eventually, things did turn around. 

It seems easy to say that, well, in retrospect it might be worth it. When you’re not in the midst of it, you can say it was possible to overcome. But my life is still affected by mental illness every single day. There are things I want to do that I can’t. Sometimes, I still get set off and have to spend a few days under the covers. But I have also found many things that are worth it. I have found relationships I could not have been healthy enough to manage before. I have come across new interests and started new hobbies that I would not have had the energy or concentration to learn about before. Even running this blog gives my life some sense of meaning. 

No one was more annoyed with the whole, “It gets better,” attitude than me. I felt like an exception. But the fact is that despite feeling hopeless, I still kept trying to get better. That effort pays off eventually. It will be small victories at first. It might be forgetting you’re suicidal for an hour or going a single day without drinking. But every bit of progress is still progress and it’s moving you forward. It might take you a thousand steps to get to somewhere when it takes someone else only 10, but you can still get there. 

With time, those steps do add up. Every day that you do your best matters. Everything is constantly in motion and you are becoming a new person minute by minute. Making the choice to recover helps you become a happier and healthier person. So love yourself for trying. That is one thing I always hold on to: I never stop trying. Knowing that alone has a powerful impact.

What gives you hope? Share stories in the comments.

7 ways to support someone with an eating disorder

Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illnesses. Because of this, it is extremely important to work towards recovery. It is easier to get better when friends and family are supportive. But eating disorders are complex both physically and psychologically, so it can be hard to know what to do and say – or what to not do and say. Here are some suggestions on how to be supportive of someone with an eating disorder.

1. Remember that eating disorders don’t discriminate. A person of any age, gender, race or size can have an eating disorder. They’re not all bone-thin, white teenage girls. There are several different kinds of eating disorders and it’s impossible to tell by a glance whether or not someone is struggling with one.

  

Stockimages/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

2. Understand that it’s not just about being skinny. Eating disorders are complex. While societal pressure to be thin can be a factor, it’s not the only one. There are usually intricate emotional reasons behind the disorder. Risk factors that can influence the development of an eating disorder include having another mental illness, substance abuse, perfectionism, sexual abuse and being involved in activities focused on weight (sports, dance, modeling, etc.).

3. Focus on positive non-physical traits. Eating disorders are often accompanied by a lot of insecurity. It’s therefore important to help build self-esteem in areas not related to the body. Compliment your loved one for his kindness, intelligence, skills, etc. Encourage participation in hobbies and activities that she excels in.

4. Be a good listener. If you are consistently paying attention and responding appropriately to your loved one, he will find it easier to talk to you about difficult subjects. Don’t push the topic of eating disorders, but if it comes up, be supportive and gently encourage recovery. If she has brought up the topic, you can carefully try to follow up, but follow her lead.

5. Do things together that don’t involve food. Eating disorders can be very isolating. It’s important to still have a social life, but a lot of social activities are centered around food. This can be very difficult. Invite him to do things where food is not the focus. Instead of going out for ice cream, go to the arcade or a concert. She’ll feel a lot more comfortable.

6. Don’t make demands about recovery. You can’t force someone to change. Recovery can only happen at the pace that someone is able to work at, so you need to respect that. Not doing so can damage your relationship and make your loved one feel uncomfortable around you. Trust his treatment team to keep tabs on how he’s doing.

7. Get emergency help if needed. Forcing treatment on someone can be ineffective and potentially counterproductive, but sometimes intervention is necessary. If symptoms get severe enough, call 911 or take her to the emergency room. Fainting, seizures, an irregular pulse and other severe symptoms call for medical intervention.

How do you maintain relationships with someone who has an eating disorder? If you have one, what do you find helpful? Share your thoughts in the comments.

Mental Illness Can Have More Impact on Life Expectancy Than Smoking

According to researchers at Oxford University, mental illness has an effect on life expectancy that is equivalent or greater than smoking. A great deal of effort and spending has been invested into smoking cessation programs and smoking awareness campaigns. This new research should prompt the government, health care and social services to shift their focus in an effort to increase life expectancy for those living with mental illness.

Researchers reviewed 20 review papers from clinical studies that reported mortality risk among mental health problems, substance and alcohol abuse, dementia, autistic spectrum disorders, learning disability and childhood behavioral disorders. These studies included over 1.7 million individuals and over 250,000 deaths. They also used studies and reviews that reported life expectancy and risk of dying by suicide. All results were compared to data for heavy smoking.

According to their findings, “one in four people in the UK will experience some kind of mental health problem in the course of a year” while smokers consist of roughly 21% of British men and 19% of women. 

They discovered that all diagnoses studied had an increased mortality risk similar or greater than heavy smoking. Some of the estimated reductions in life expectancy were found to be as follows:

• Bipolar Disorder: 9 - 20 years
  
• Schizophrenia: 10 – 20 years
  
• Drug and Alcohol Abuse: 9 - 24 years
  
• Recurrent Depression: 7 - 11 years
  
• Heavy smoking: 8 - 10 years

Dr. Seena Fazel of the Department of Psychiatry at Oxford University said: "We found that many mental health diagnoses are associated with a drop in life expectancy as great as that associated with smoking 20 or more cigarettes a day."
Despite the fact that this study did not mention the prevalence of smoking among persons with mental illness, the results are still devastating.

There may be many reasons for this phenomenon. For example:

• Psychiatric patients and those with drug and/or alcohol dependence can be more likely to engage in high-risk behaviours.
  
• Physical health problems may not be taken seriously and treated properly due to the stigma attached to their mental illness.
  
• Many mental illnesses can create physical health problems and/or worsen pre-existing ones.
  
• People with serious mental illness may not access healthcare effectively.
  
• The de-medicalization of mental illness may increase the likelihood that physical health problems go untreated or neglected.
  

Life expectancy may increase if only we could make mental health a priority as we have with smoking. In addition to funding and advancing research on mental illness, we should improve health and social services to ensure that persons with mental illness have better access to health care, suitable employment and supports in their community.

Many mental illnesses reduce life expectancy more than heavy smoking

© www.mentalhealthblog.com

Books about mental illness and recovery

Books are an invaluable source of information. When it comes to mental health, they can be a great resource in helping you understand what you are going through. Following is a list of some of the top-selling books on various mental illnesses. I have not read all of them and I do not endorse any of them. I am simply going by what the most popular titles in the field are. I recommend reading reviews before purchasing a book, as that will give you a better idea of the content. The list is not comprehensive in any way. I hope you find something useful!

Anxiety

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne, Ph.D.

The 10 Best-Ever Anxiety Management Techniques by Margaret Wehrenberg, Psy.D.

The Mindful Way through Anxiety by Susan M. Orsillo, Ph.D. and Lizabeth Roemer, Ph.D.

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)

Parenting Children with ADHD by Vincent J. Monastra, Ph.D.

Your Life Can Be Better by Douglas A. Puryear, M.D.

Driven to Distraction by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D. and John J. Ratey, M.D.

Autism spectrum disorders

Autism: A Practical Guide for Parents by Alan Yau

Autism by Dr. Robert Melillo

The Complete Guide to Asperger’s Syndrome by Tony Attwood, M.A., Ph.D.

Bipolar disorder

The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide by David J. Miklowitz, Ph.D.

The Bipolar Workbook by Monica Ramirez Basco, Ph.D.

Living with Someone Who’s Living with Bipolar Disorder by Chelsea Lowe and Bruce M. Cohen, M.D., Ph.D.

Depression

The Depression Cure by Stephen S. Ilardi, Ph.D. 

The Mindful Way through Depression by Mark Williams, Ph.D., John Teasdale, Ph.D., Zinder Segal, Ph.D. and Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D.

Feeling Good by David D. Burns, M.D.

Dissociative disorders

Coping with Trauma-Related Dissociation by Suzette Boon, Ph.D., Kathy Steele, M.N., C.S. and Onno van der Hart, Ph.D.

The Dissociative Identity Disorder Sourcebook by Deborah Bray Haddock, M.Ed., M.A., L.P. 

Rebuilding Shattered Lives by James A. Chu, M.D.

Eating disorders

8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder by Carolyn Costin, M.A., M.Ed., MFT and Gwen Schubert Grabb, MFT

Life Without Ed by Jenni Schaefer

Healing Your Hungry Heart by Joanna Poppink, MFT

Insomnia

Say Good Night to Insomnia by Gregg D. Jacobs, Ph.D.

The Effortless Sleep Method by Sasha Stephens

The Insomnia Workbook by Stephanie A. Silberman, Ph.D., DABSM

Obsessive-compulsive disorder 

The OCD Workbook by Bruce M. Hyman, Ph.D. and Cherry Pedrick, RN

The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD by Jon Hershfield, MFT and Tom Corboy, MFT

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders by Fred Penzel, Ph.D.

Panic disorders

When Panic Attacks by David D. Burns, M.D.

Panic Attacks Workbook by David Carbonell, Ph.D.

From Panic to Power by Lucinda Bassett

Personality disorders

Understanding Personality Disorders by Duane L. Dobbert, Ph.D.

The Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Workbook for Personality Disorders by Jeffrey Wood, Psy.D.

Difficult Personalities by Helen McGrath, Ph.D. and Hazel Edwards, M.Ed.

Posttraumatic stress disorder

The PTSD Workbook by Mary Beth Williams, Ph.D., LCSW, CTS and Soili Poijula, Ph.D.

The Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook by Glenn R. Schiraldi, Ph.D.

When Someone You Love Suffers from Posttraumatic Stress by Claudia Zayfert, Ph.D. and Jason C. DeViva, Ph.D.

Schizophrenia

Surviving Schizophrenia by E. Fuller Torrey, M.D.

Schizophrenia: A Blueprint for Recovery by Milt Greek

The Complete Family Guide to Schizophrenia  by Kim T. Mueser, Ph.D. and Susan Gingerich, MSW

Substance abuse

The Mindfulness Workbook for Addiction by Rebecca E. Williams, Ph.D. and Julie S. Kraft, M.A.

Clean by David Sheff

Beyond Addiction by Jeffrey Foote, Ph.D., Carrie Wilkens, Ph.D. and Nicole Kosanke, Ph.D. with Stephanie Higgs

For loved ones

The Family Guide To Mental Health Care by Lloyd I. Sederer, M.D.

When Someone You Love Has a Mental Illness by Rebecca Woolis, M.F.C.C.

You Need Help! by Mark S. Komrad, M.D.

Memoirs

Broken Glass: A Family’s Journey Through Mental Illness by Robert V. Hine

Just Like Someone Without Mental Illness Only More So by Mark Vonnegut, M.D.

Crazy: A Father’s Search Through America’s Mental Health Madness by Pete Earley

Share your favorite books on mental illness and recovery in the comments.

Mental health myths: children and mental illness

I am taking some time to discuss issues related to childhood and adolescent mental health. Let’s start with a very basic mental health myth.

Myth: Children cannot develop mental illnesses.

David Castillo Dominici/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Fact: A significant number of children and teens struggle with mental health issues. 

Sadly, being a minor does not eliminate the possibility of having mental health issues. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 13 percent of kids and teens between the ages of 8 and 15 struggle with a severe mental health condition. For teens between 13 and 18, that number increases to 20 percent. And those are just severe conditions – there are even more that are struggling with mild and moderate mental health issues.

There are dozens of diagnoses that are considered childhood disorders. These include learning disorders, but also conditions related to development, attachment, behavior, and more. In addition, mental illnesses that adults get can have separate diagnostic criteria for childhood versions of the same condition.

By some estimates, there are more children suffering from mental illnesses than physical ones in North America. These conditions can be devastating not only to children, but to entire families. When one family member struggles with mental illness, it affects the whole family. The family dynamic is disrupted and other family members can experience stress, anger, guilt, shame or denial. It is therefore important for everyone’s needs to be considered, not just those of the one struggling with mental health issues.

By being young, kids and teens won't always have the perspective of knowing what is and isn't normal in terms of their psychological health. We assume that others are like us, so until someone points out that, no, most people don't have to wash their hands repetitively, they might think it's the standard. Some children have never really had a chance to not struggle with mental health, so they don’t know that there is something wrong. That’s why it’s so important for adults to look for signs of mental illness in children.

Some symptoms to watch out for in children and teens include:

David Castillo Dominici/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

• Being unable to cope with everyday problems.

• Not doing well at school (especially if the child is really trying).

• Difficulty concentrating.

• Loss of interest in activities and friends.

• Persistent negative moods.

• Sleep problems, including disrupted sleep, nightmares and sleepwalking.

• Frequent physical symptoms, such as headaches and stomachaches.

• Changes in eating habits.

• Unwarranted amounts of worry and anxiety.

• Regressing to behaviors of a younger age, such as becoming clingy or bedwetting.

• Risk-taking behavior.

• Repeated anger outbursts.

• Frequent disobedience and aggressive behavior.

• Self-injury.
• Substance abuse.

• Unusual amounts of time spent alone.

• Disproportionately intense feelings.

• Seeing or hearing things that aren’t there.

Take these symptoms seriously. On Saturday, there will be a post detailing how to get help when children and teens experience mental health concerns.

Do you have an experience with childhood or adolescent mental illness that you’d like to share? Please post in the comments.