100 ways to improve your mental health

We’ve reached a milestone today – this is my 100th post! To celebrate, I decided to make a list of 100 things. The most helpful idea that came to mind was ways to improve mental health, so here it is. I have broken the list down into categories so that you can find the ones that are the most relevant for what you are working on. (Another milestone: Happy birthday, A. You’re my favorite.)

  

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Emotionally

1. Honor your emotions for what they are and accept them fully.

2. Do something that makes you happy every day.

3. Remember that feelings are temporary; they will always change.

4. Express your emotions creatively.

5. Ask for help when you feel overwhelmed.

6. Know when to back out of a situation.

7. Stop your thinking and ask yourself what you are actually feeling and why.

8. Use a feelings chart to identify what you are experiencing.

9. Surround yourself with little things that make you happy – flowers, art, scented candles, etc.

10. Find positive and uplifting entertainment.

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Mentally

11. Stay in the present.

12. Deal with stress as it comes up.

13. Eliminate bad habits. 

14. Set realistic goals and work towards them.

15. Stop using negative words to describe yourself.

16. Reward yourself for doing difficult things.

17. Take a break when you need it.

18. Find new ways to do things.

19. Stop and consider other perspectives on what you’re experiencing.

20. Use good common sense.

                                                                                              Physically

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21. Exercise regularly.

22. Take time to relax.

23. Eat three meals a day.

24. Take your medication as prescribed.

25. Stay at a healthy weight. 

26. Get enough sleep.

27. See a doctor when you need to.

28. Choose healthy food.

29. Stay away from harmful substances.

30. Love your body as best you can.

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Socially

31. Rely on your support system.

32. Spend time with other people regularly.

33. Be a helpful friend.

34. Respect the needs of others and expect that they do the same.

35. Engage in volunteer work.

36. Eliminate negative influences in your life.

37. Set and keep healthy boundaries.

38. Make time for yourself.

39. Be clear in your communication.

40. Be considerate.

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Intellectually

41. Be educated about your disorder(s).

42. Learn something new every day.

43. Study things you genuinely find interesting.

44. Study something you know absolutely nothing about.

45. Do mind exercises like sudoku, crossword puzzles and word games.

46. Talk to other people about what they do.

47. Take an evening or community course.

48. Think up funny jokes and witty responses.

49. Take notes when you are learning about something. Refer to them later.

50. Do calculations in your head instead of using your phone.

Spiritually

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51. Practice mindfulness

52. Meditate and/or pray.

53. Eliminate unhealthy beliefs.

54. Rely on a higher power.

55. Learn about the beliefs of others.

56. Journal about your spiritual experiences.

57. Share your spiritual experiences with open-minded loved ones.

58. Forgive.

59. Find or decide on your life’s purpose and live it.

60. Stay true to what you believe.

                                                             Environmentally

                                                             61. Surround yourself with beautiful things.

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62. Hang up motivational posters.

63. Spend time in nature.

64. Keep your home clean.

65. Use sticky notes to post affirmations where you’ll see them frequently.

66. Support any environmental causes you believe in.

67. Use your resources well.

68. Take basic safety precautions.

69. Repair broken things so they don’t continue to frustrate you.

70. Stay organized.

Occupationally

71. Do things you love.

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72. Know your limits when it comes to work.

73. Develop schedules and routines.

74. Simplify your work.

75. Get support from colleagues when necessary.

76. Keep good boundaries between your personal and professional lives.

77. Compliment coworkers on a job well done.

78. If you are unhappy in your job, look for a new one.

79. Multitask less.

80. Take a day off when you need to.

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Self-care

81. Journal regularly. 

82. Go for a walk.

83. Make your favorite meal.

84. Use grounding techniques.

85. Have a list of coping skills.

86. Be patient.

87. Keep a gratitude journal.

88. Go easy on yourself.

89. Respect yourself.

Other

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91. Stand up for yourself.

92. Believe you can get better.

93. Keep a beginner’s mindset.

94. Learn from every experience.

95. Keep some money in savings.

96. Have alternatives for self-destructive behaviors.

97. Be prepared for change.

98. Have a safety plan.

99. Stay progress-oriented.

100. Make a list of personal reasons to recover.

Do you have any tips to add? Please do so in the comments!

15 mental health resolutions for 2015

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Happy New Year! As we all know, this is the time of year when people take stock of their lives and find ways to improve. So in the spirit of goal-setting, here are 15 resolutions to keep you mentally healthy in 2015. I encourage you to adopt at least one of them!

1. I will set and maintain healthy boundaries.

2. I will say no to negativity. 

3. I will make time for myself.

4. I will love and accept my body the way it is.

5. I will continue to learn new things.

6. I will practice mindfulness and self-care.

7. I will ask for help when I need it.

8. I will find healthy ways of dealing with stress.

9. I will not indulge in excess.

10. I will surround myself with supportive people.

11. I will take medications as instructed. 

12. I will physically take care of my body (exercise, nutrition, sleep, etc.).  

13. I will only speak positively about myself, in or out of my head.

14. I will shrug off unhealthy guilt. 

15. I will be proud of myself for each step towards recovery.

What mental health resolutions are you making? Post yours in the comments!

The importance of self-care

   

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Therapy is hard work. It takes a lot out of you to spend extended periods of time focusing on the most difficult aspects of your life on a regular basis. It’s not hard to burn out while working on particularly intense issues. This is why self-care is essential to recovery. You need to make sure you are in the best place possible in order to move forward in your treatment. 

Self-care is maintaining your health and general well-being. It can take many forms and will be specific to each individual. What matters is that the activity promotes your welfare. If taking a walk in nature makes you feel better, do it. If self-care means the occasional binge-marathon on Netflix, that’s okay, too. There is no right or wrong way to engage in self-care; the only thing that matters is that it works for you.

While you might think that self-care for mental health is only about taking care of your mind, that is not true at all. Taking care of your body is essential, too. Physical health and mental health are very interconnected, so what’s good for one is good for the other. Make sure to exercise, eat healthy foods and get plenty of sleep. Follow your treatment regimens for any physical illnesses you have. 

Make a list of self-care activities so that when you are feeling exhausted, you don’t have to try to come up with something. Keep it on your phone, in your purse, on your refrigerator – wherever you have easy access to it. Make an effort to do something on the list every day. Try new activities, too. You never know when you’ll discover something helpful. 

By regularly practicing self-care, you can avoid future mental health crises. Taking care of yourself as stressors come up means that you won’t have a reservoir of unresolved emotions that flood you all at once when the buildup is too strong. If you are having trouble coming up with self-care ideas, you can talk to your therapist. Together you can come up with a plan for how to take care of you both daily and when a stressor comes up.

Do you practice self-care? How has it helped you? Tell us in the comments.

Are you in (too much) control?

The issue of control is highly related to mental health. Having control makes us feel safe in the world. A lack of it leads to fear and a sense of helplessness. Mental illness can sometimes be traced back to a need to feel more in control, whether it’s in a rational way or not. Here are just a few examples:

   
• Someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder might engage in unusual behaviors because she is under the belief that this will lead to certain outcomes. 
• An eating disorder can be a response to a lack of control of one’s environment, making the body a battleground instead.
• Sometimes, certain personality disorders include attempts to control other people through manipulation or harmful actions, which may or may not be a conscious decision.
• Self-injury can be a way of decreasing distress or other symptoms through taking charge of the pain.
• Depression can worsen when a                                                                                                                                               person believes he has no control  
                                                                                                                                    over his future. 

The question is, how do you learn to control your control? There are no easy answers to that. Trying to do so can create a cycle that can spiral out of control, so to speak, and make things worse. 

So instead of trying to use one controlling action to stop another, look at the original issue. Let’s imagine, for instance, that the root of your control issues is that someone you love has a dangerous physical illness. It’s scary, but you can’t change it. You can’t even really help with the treatment because you’re not her medical team. Lacking control might cause you to attempt to regain it in another area. You might become obsessed about your own health in an attempt to avoid getting ill as well. This can lead into dangerous territory with problems like a severely restricted diet, excessive exercise or taking a large amount of supplements without a doctor’s supervision. 

But the truth is, you can’t control your body completely. You can’t guarantee you will never get sick. Sometimes, it’s unavoidable. So step back and look at what you actually can control. You can decrease your risk of illness by living a healthy lifestyle. This should, however, be done with moderation and a regimen set up with the help of a health care professional.

You might also want to look even further back and think of your loved one. While you can’t provide a cure, you can find other ways of being of assistance. Ask him if he needs someone to drive him to medical appointments. Offer to clean her house. Keep him company while he is bedridden. This is a much healthier and more productive way of managing the emotions her illness have brought up for you. It’s important to recognize that this is actually helping him, whereas you going down a dangerous path with a health obsession does not. 

Sometimes, the best answer is to give the issue some space. Work with your therapist to find ways to manage the anxieties that uncertainty and lacking control bring up. You don’t have to act upon them. Some people find mindfulness and meditation helpful in this regard. Others might think through the situation logically and find some peace that way. Whatever you need to do, decrease the importance of having control. Accept what you cannot change and focus on the things you can do. Again, your therapist can be very helpful in this process.

You don’t have to let your need for control end up controlling you. It’s easier said than done, but gradually working at it one issue at a time will lead to progress. As time passes, it will become easier. You will master the skills you need to respond appropriately to uncertainty. This will lead to a reduction in symptoms and, more importantly, help you become a happier and healthier person.

Have you learned to let go of the need for control? What helped you? Share what worked in the comments.

15 ways to improve your mood in 15 minutes or less

Recovery is a long-term process, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t quick fixes along the way. Sometimes, a few minutes is all that’s needed to clear up some anxiety or get rid of the blues. So the next time you are feeling out of sorts, try one of these suggestions. With time, you’ll have your own list of what works best for you.

1. Meditate. Taking a few minutes to slow down, focus on your breathing and clear your mind relaxes both your body and mind.

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2. Laugh. They don’t say that laughter is the best medicine for no reason. Bookmark funny YouTube videos and silly cat pictures that make you giggle.

3. Move around. Whether it’s jumping around and dancing or taking a walk around the block, getting a little exercise makes your body release endorphins, which in turn boost your mood.

4. Do something nice. By performing a random act of kindness, you take your focus off yourself and your problems, which means both the receiver and you benefit.  

5. Take a nap. Close your eyes and drift away for a while. Taking long naps can mess with your sleep cycle, though, so keep it short and sweet.

6. Pull out your journal. The nice thing about journaling is that it takes what’s in your head and places it somewhere else. If needed, here are some journaling prompts.

7. Talk to someone. Call that friend who always knows how to cheer you up. A little human contact can go a long way.

8. Snack. At times, we get grumpy or irritable because we haven’t eaten. Eat a healthy snack or indulge in something you love.

9. Listen to music. Create a playlist of songs that make you feel better. Keep it on your phone, your work computer, in your car – wherever you might need it.

10. Get some sunlight. Soaking in some sunlight increases your vitamin D levels. This, in turn, boosts your serotonin levels, which keeps you happy.

11. Look at pictures. Take a walk down memory lane. Seeing good times and people you love will make you smile and remind you that things aren’t so bad. 

12. Spend time with a pet. A little time with your cat, dog, hamster, bird or whatever you have reduces stress. Besides, they’re just so cute. 

13. Aromatherapy. Scents impact people’s moods. Use your favorite smell or try citrus, lavender, basil, cinnamon or peppermint. 

14. Learn something new. There’s that little high that comes with finding out something really cool. Click on a few Wikipedia pages and see what comes up.

15. Make a gratitude list. A tried and true method for improving your mood is to make a list of things you are grateful for. It’s hard to be unhappy when you are thinking about what you appreciate.

What helps you feel better in 15 minutes? Share your tips in the comments.

5 habits that promote mental health

Mental health is not something you are born with or without. It is something that can be impacted by as many different things as your physical health can. We might take vitamins and get flu shots to protect our bodies, but do we offer the same level of care to our mind? Here are some habits that can help your mental and emotional health.

1. Take care of your body

Your mind and your body interact on a constant basis. What you do to one will surely affect the other. That’s why taking care of your body is essential. Consult your doctor to find out what is best for you, but here are some general guidelines. Eat appropriate amounts of healthy food on a regular basis. Ideally, you should do moderate exercise for half an hour five times a week. But anything helps, even five minutes of stretching. Work your way up to it. And make sure you get enough sleep. Every body is different, but some research indicates that 7 hours is optimal.

    

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2. Learn new things

If you don’t stretch your mind, how do you expect to keep it in shape? Your brain needs the occasional challenge and learning is a great way to do this. Learning new things promotes qualities such as confidence, happiness, self-efficacy, independence and wisdom. Keeping the mind active can stave off some of the effects of age-related cognitive problems. While it’s fun and comforting to do things you already enjoy, learning something new has an even greater effect on your mind. Learn to cook Thai food, paint with watercolors, restore cars, woodwork or take on a new language. This last one is especially great for mental growth.

3. Reduce stress

Stress is unavoidable. Some amount of it is healthy because it helps us get things done, but having too much can have negative consequences for your mental health. There are many studies supporting this. So find ways to reduce the load. If your child is having a birthday party and you’re trying to clean the house, decorate, make treat bags and bake a cake, maybe you should just buy a cake at the store. If you have overwhelming work responsibilities, see if you can delegate some duties to someone else. For some tips on managing stress, read this.

4. Engage in self-care

Life is so full of demands that sometimes we forget to just slow down and assess what we actually need. When you feel scared, overwhelmed, frustrated, in pain or otherwise having a difficult time, stop and ask yourself what you actually need. Commit to act on it. If you need to slow things down, try some grounding techniques. If you are hungry, grab a snack. If you feel lonely, call up a friend. Something inside of you always knows what you need and you need to learn to listen to that part of you. It’s best to take care of how you’re feeling before it develops into something bigger.

5. Ask for help

Sometimes we think that we should be able to handle everything life throws at us. But the truth is, humans are social creatures for a reason. We need each other. So when you are depressed, overwhelmed, anxious, distracted or otherwise having problems, it’s okay to ask for help. This can involve anything from going to therapy to having a neighborhood kid mow your lawn for you. What matters is that you’re not going through your struggles alone. Besides, connecting with other people is good in and of itself. And you never know when you might be helping someone else simply by being in touch.

What healthy mental health habits do you have? Leave other suggestions in the comments.

Learning to be body positive

   

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Because I have some challenges with my body image, up until recently I was getting some of my clothes the wrong size. I had this idea of looking a certain way and that’s how I thought of myself. Finding out that I was actually not shaped the way I thought was such a weird experience. It made me reexamine my body and how I treat it.

Treating your body right isn’t just a physical thing. Exercise and healthy eating are important, as are taking care of any physical illnesses. But a part of having a healthy body is the way you talk to yourself. If you’re constantly thinking, “My thighs are too fat,” or “My arms aren’t muscular enough,” you start viewing your body in a negative way. This type of thinking will affect your ability to properly take care of yourself. At one extreme, it might be depressing and lead to something like overeating. On the other side is starving yourself or engaging in excessive exercise. Neither of those options is healthy.

It’s important to treat your body with respect. It’s the only thing you will have your whole life, no matter what happens. It is an extremely valuable asset and should be treated as such. When you are feeling down about one part of your body, always think of a positive. Even though it sounds cheesy, find one thing you like about it. I promise you can. I like the way my lips are shaped. It seems trivial, but having something about you that you love makes a difference. Everyone – and I mean everyone – has some attractive aspect. You aren’t an exception to that.

I’ve been trying very hard lately to be body positive. I went to the store and bought an item of clothing that I felt insecure about pulling off with my body. I felt so dumb when I was being checked out. It felt like the clerk was thinking, “Really? You’re gonna wear that?” when I’m sure he didn’t even think anything of it. When I wore it, nothing catastrophic happened. No one said anything. People didn’t stare at me. It was hard, at first, to be comfortable. Then I simply stopped noticing. It was fun to wear something different.

My point is, you are more concerned about your own body than anyone else is. (If someone does care more than you, tell him/her to mind his/her own body). How you treat and talk to yourself is what matters. It’s a really hard thing, but just try to accept your body. No excuses, no exceptions. I haven’t been able to do it perfectly, but it’s already made a huge difference for me. 

Your body deserves all the love you can give it. It’s what’s keeping you alive, so be grateful and kind to it.

What helps you feel more confident in your own skin? Sound off in the comments.

5 things to do after a hard session

Therapy can be hard. It takes a lot out of you and can even have you feeling worse than when you started (hopefully in a productive way). But sometimes you can be at a loss for what to do after a particularly difficult session. Here are five suggestions.

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1. Journaling

Write down your thoughts and feelings about the session. Sometimes getting it out on paper takes the edge off what you are feeling. It allows your mind to let go of the stress more easily because the information is now external. This strategy also allows you to look back at what you wrote at a later time, maybe in the next session. A lot of good content can come from that.

2. Self-care

If you were not feeling well physically, you would hopefully spend some time taking care of yourself. The same should go if you are emotionally exhausted. Do things that make you feel better. Go for a walk. Take a hot bath. Eat comfort foods. If the things you do involve taking care of your body, all the better. Physical and mental health are closely linked (read more here).

3. Distraction

Sometimes you just need to get your mind off of what’s upsetting you. Do something else that requires your attention. Watch a movie. Put together a puzzle. Try making a new recipe. Don’t try to avoid what you’re dealing with. That won’t fix anything. But it’s perfectly healthy to set it aside for a bit while you recuperate. 

4. Enjoyment

Things that make us happy can help dissipate lingering negative emotions. Focusing on something you love for a while can be very calming and healing. Play your favorite sport. Go to a concert. Have a good conversation with a friend whose company you enjoy. There’s a time to work on hard things, but there is also time to savor what life has to offer.

5. Expression

Similarly to journaling, this is all about getting what’s inside of you out into the open. Just take what you are thinking and feeling and put it in a different form. This can include making art, storytelling, dancing, acting, creating music and crafting. Use a medium you are comfortable with or explore something new. You never know what will come out of it.

What do you do after a tough session? Trade ideas in the comments.

5 ways nature can heal

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Nature has been helping people heal long before the inventions of therapy and medication. Humans were developed to survive without any modern conveniences, so it only makes sense that the natural world holds things that can help us in recovering. 

Consider what nature can do for you, even if you don’t want to leave the house. Inspired by the (hopefully) nice spring weather, here are five suggestions for how nature can help in your healing process.

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1. Sounds and scents

Nature can be very soothing and calming. It’s simple to bring nature inside through your senses. If you are lucky, you live somewhere you can simply open your window to hear and smell a forest or brook. But for the rest of us, turning on some nature sounds and lighting a flower-scented candle will have to do the trick. 

There are websites that let you blend and customize different sounds, such as this one. It is also said that certain scents will alter your mood, filling you with calmness, energy or concentration. Here is an example of a list of how certain scents might benefit you. Google will give you plenty more.

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2. Gardening

While some of us hate weeding (guilty), some people find gardening to be a soothing and stress-relieving hobby. It gives you the satisfaction of seeing your hard work bloom, which can do wonders for your confidence and self-efficacy. 

Even city-dwellers holed up in apartments can reap the benefits of caring for plants. A flower box can be used to make a beautiful display or to be used to grow herbs and small vegetables. For those who are interested in growing their own food in cities, look up urban gardening. It’s a real thing.

  

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3. Food and supplements

What you eat determines a large part of your health. It is, after all, what makes up your body. Good nutrition in general is beneficial to physical and mental health, but specific foods can serve individual purposes. Supposedly, blueberries should make you less stressed while walnuts make you happier.

In addition to providing food, nature also gives us plants and herbs that hold healing properties. The scientific backing on these varies, so do your research. But from what I’ve heard, some places use St. John’s wort as a first line of treatment for depression, preceding anti-depressants. But if you do want to try a supplement, talk to your doctor. Some can interfere with medications or make certain health conditions worse.

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4. Pets

The creatures we share this world with can become healing as friends, or even part of the family. My cat can tell when I am anxious or depressed and will cuddle up with me extra much. Having a pet also gives you a daily responsibility, forcing you to have interaction and get out of bed.

Sometimes, people have specially trained service or therapy animals. Dogs, for instance, can be trained to help with PTSD symptoms. I have also heard of ones that will bring your medication to you if you are bedridden, so it’s pretty incredible what animals can do.

  

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5. Spending time outdoors

Then, of course, there is simply going out into nature. Take advantage of whatever is nearby – forests, mountains, beaches or city parks. If you want more variety, plan vacations and road trips around the environments you’d like to spend more time in.

While outside, do activities that you enjoy. There’s more to do than hikes or walks. Some options include riding bikes, swimming, picnics, sketching or painting, picking flowers, snow activities, bird watching, playing children’s games and just sitting down and enjoying your surroundings.  Sometimes a breath of fresh air is exactly what’s needed to feel better.

What gifts of nature do you use in your recovery? Exchange ideas in the comments.

5 steps to finding your best coping skills

I experience one type of distress when I have interpersonal problems and another when I am anxious about school. What helps with one will not always help with the other. That’s why it can be useful to map out what will help when you are feeling certain ways. Today I’ll lead you through an exercise to make a list of what will help you when you are feeling certain types of distress. 

I encourage you to grab a pen and some paper. You can also type on your computer (be prepared to copy and paste), but I’ll be creating a hypothetical sample by hand. If you write this up as you go along, you’ll have a very helpful tool at your disposal by the time you have finished reading this blog post. Really, you should do it. You’ll thank yourself later.

1. Identify what situations create strong emotional reactions in you. Write them out on a page. If you get stuck, consider the last month and identify situations that caused you distress. Write as many as you’d like. You can include things that are positive, but still potentially stressful. It might look something like this:

When you’re finished, you might find that you can combine similar items. In this case, I will combine “I feel rejected” and “I feel alone” to create “I feel rejected and lonely.” I will also make “I have a headache” and “my back hurts” become “I have physical pain.” If you don’t want to list specific situations, this exercise also works well if you make a list of emotions (angry, scared, nervous, overwhelmed, panicked, etc.).

2. Identify your coping tools. Create a list on a new piece of paper of what you have found helpful in the past when you are dealing with stress or strong emotions. You might also want to add things that you haven’t tried yet, but that might be helpful. There are lots of lists of coping skills at your disposal through Google. Give yourself as many options as possible. Include both items that improve the situations and ones that distract you from it, as each has its own uses. Here are some examples:

3. Take a third (and maybe fourth) piece of paper and use lines to make boxes for each of your identified trigger situations or emotions. Label each one. 

4. Think about what strategies from the second list help the most with the situations or emotions from the first. Try to find at least three strategies for each section.You can repeat your items. If you think of something that isn’t on the second list, that’s great! Add it anyway. You don’t have to include every coping mechanism you listed. What’s important is filling up those boxes with whatever is helpful.

5. Make your list accessible. Take a picture of it and put it on your phone. Keep a copy in your purse. Hang it on your bathroom mirror. Give copies to your support system so they know how to help you. Share it with your therapist. Just get your list out there so that when you do need to cope, you’ll already know how. It’s hard to think of things in the moment, but that will be less of a problem with this list on hand.

Did you try this exercise? What are some helpful matchings you found? Help each other out by sharing ideas in the comments.

5 activities to help between sessions

Sometimes, the time between therapy sessions can be hard. If you have something big going on or a chronic condition, it can be difficult to just let time pass. You can’t pause your problems. Sometimes, you just have to find ways of handling them until you can really work on them in therapy. Here are five things to do between sessions that can tide you over.

     

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Journaling

Putting thoughts on paper can keep them from incessantly taking your attention. Writing also forces you to slow down your thinking process and helps you see things that you otherwise would have missed. When you do go into therapy, you will have new material to work with. If you are comfortable sharing what you wrote with your therapist, that might help, but you really don’t have to.

Creative expression

Some feelings and experiences are beyond words, at least in narrative form. That’s why it can be so cathartic to express these things through creative means. It can take any form you like. I used to write poetry, then I painted and right now I mostly collage. Other options include writing fiction, other visual arts, dance, theater and crafts (knitting, sewing, repurposing objects, etc.). I promise there’s something for everyone! 

Meditation

Meditation has been used for thousands of years to become more in tune with oneself. Whether used as a spiritual practice or as a means of self-improvement, meditation allows us to slow down and let the body and mind enter a state of rest. You don’t have to have an elaborate routine. Simply focusing on your breathing for even one minute can make you feel better. 

Exercise

The health benefits of exercise are numerous for both physical and mental health. In fact, regular exercise has been found to be comparable in benefits to antidepressants. In the short-term, it can also help eliminate negative emotions. Stress, anxiety, anger, frustration, irritation and more can be taken out at the gym or on a run.

Self-care

Take time to do whatever makes you feel good. It’s easy to get caught up in responsibilities and the never-ending list of things we should do and forget to take care of ourselves. Whether it’s a hot bath, a tasty treat or skipping the dishes for one night, doing things for yourself is important to keeping you mentally healthy.

What do you do to manage the time between sessions? Share your tips in the comments.