Sometimes, mental illness or substance abuse requires more intensive treatment than can be provided on an outpatient basis. Situations like being suicidal, the inability to get substance abuse under control, going through a medication change or an eating disorder becoming life-threatening call for inpatient treatment. The amount of time someone is gone varies, too – rehab can take months while most stays at the psychiatric ward of a local hospital are only a few days. The uncertainty of how long it will take can make the situation even more distressing.
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While this is a lot to deal with for the patient, it also leaves loved ones not knowing what they can do. Visiting hours are often very restricted and you might not even know if your loved one wants you to come. Besides, these programs are sometimes pretty involved, with individual counseling, doctor’s visits, group therapy, psychoeducational classes and more. You want to help; it’s just hard to know what to do.
In these times, grand actions are not very viable. It’s the simple shows of support that end up being meaningful. Following is a list of suggestions for showing that you care. Keep in mind, however, that the rules and policies of each treatment center varies. If you are uncertain of whether a specific item is permitted, call the unit your loved one is staying at and ask a staff member.
1. Let him know you are there for him…
An in-patient stay cuts someone away from the world, leaving most of society’s currently used methods of communication off limits. She likely won’t have access to her cell phone or the Internet. This brings up the question of the best way to show support. Even if your relationship is close, he might not be ready to accept you reaching out. A card or a letter is a non-threatening way to show support that allows her to decide if she wants to give you a call or invite you over to visit. Include your phone number, as he might not have it memorized.
2. …but respect her privacy.
Because it is closed off, knowledge of what goes on within the program can seem mysterious to outsiders. Your curiosity might naturally be piqued, however. But unless you are the parent of a minor, you most likely don’t have a right to know what is going on. You have to trust that the treatment team has the situation under control and will make good decisions. If your loved one wants to talk about his treatment, he will. Be nonjudgmental and a good listener. Avoid giving advice at this time. Besides, after a long day of processing issues and psychoeducational material, hearing about the latest game or celebrity gossip might actually be relaxing.
3. Pictures
Due to risks of patients harming themselves or others, there are a lot of restricted items in the inpatient setting. Pieces of paper, however, are generally considered benign, so bring pictures. Don’t just stick with family portraits. Go to your loved one’s Facebook page and print out a few of her having fun with her friends or on a vacation. A picture of a beloved pet can also be appreciated. If your loved one has a strong attachment to a particular location, a photograph of a place that soothes her can also be calming. If permitted, bring Blu-Tack so he can hang them up. Frames will not be allowed, at least not with the glass in.
4. Entertainment
Despite intensive treatment, there is downtime. If left with the facility’s resources, however, your loved one might spend a lot of time coloring pictures with crayons or playing checkers. While often highly regulated, entertainment is appreciated. Some books and magazines are restricted based on the content, but you probably won’t know until you get there, as it is very arbitrary. Less frequently, a center might allow an iPod or MP3 player. They may, however, require a small speaker, as headphones can be a safety risk. With this, it’s especially important to talk to the staff before you bring something over.
5. Something from home
It is normal to get homesick when in an inpatient setting, seeing as one is pulled away from all the comforts one is used to. Bringing something meaningful from home can ease some of that feeling. Take over a favorite stuffed animal, pillow or blanket. A small, unbreakable trinket with personal significance can be a lovely connection to home. Avoid brining valuable or irreplaceable items. Not all inpatient stays are planned, so a fresh change of clothes can be much appreciated. If you are allowed to bring food or treats, a comfort food can also mean a lot. A connection to life outside the treatment center can serve as a lifeline when treatment is at its toughest.
Have you spent time in an inpatient unit? What shows of support did you find helpful? Add to the list in the comments.
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