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Kids/teens: Asking for help is hard. Really hard. I know it is because I've had to do it. The systems that are in place to help you won't always work. Frankly, I'm surprised that some of the assignments I did in high school didn't lead to an after-class talk or referral to a counselor. Unfortunately, not being taken seriously can lead to an escalation in symptoms as you try to get someone to understand that you are
experiencing internal distress.
experiencing internal distress.
If mental health issues are not prevalent in your family (or simply ignored and under-recognized), it can be a challenge to get taken seriously. A sixteen-year-old with mood swings? Nothing new. But when those "mood swings" involve not sleeping for a week followed by two months where all you want is to stay in bed, you probably need some help from someone. If your parents won’t listen, try talking to a trusted teacher or a school counselor. Seek help from the adults in your life that you feel comfortable with. And don’t give up. If you know something is wrong, it’s worth pushing until someone will listen because it will save you so much trouble in the long run.
Parents: Listen to your kids. Going in for an evaluation or talking to the school counselor won't kill you. A "better safe than sorry" approach (within reasonable limits) can save your child years of suffering. Since they are not finished developing both physically and mentally, where they're at is critical. Make sure they are at the best place possible.
If you think your child might be struggling with symptoms of mental illness, try to find out as much as you can. Look for both patterns of behavior and out-of-character actions. Talk to teachers or others who spend significant time with your child. Ask what they have observed. Keep track of everything you notice and find out. Then talk to your doctor or health care provider. Depending on what she sees, she can make referrals to specialists or local resources.
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Look for ways to make it easier for your child. When you know what is going on, talk to his school to find out what they can do to accommodate him. Create a supportive and safe home environment. If there are extracurriculars or other activities that are causing problems, consider withdrawing your child. Show her that her mental health matters and that it’s healthy and good to take care of yourself.
As part of your child’s treatment, consider looking at the whole family. Going to family therapy may be helpful because your child’s condition is not happening in isolation. In addition, all family members are impacted by the struggles of one. A good counselor will not merely single out the child with the problem, but will look at how the family as a whole can be healthier.
The most important thing you can do is to take your child’s mental health seriously. Seek appropriate treatment from licensed professionals. Well-intentioned religious leaders or other significant adult figures can be helpful, but are not substitutes for professional help. Listen to specialists regarding treatment recommendations. By showing that you are taking your child seriously, you are helping him see that he and his health matter, which is a lesson that is valuable across the lifetime.
What have you found helpful in getting children and adolescents mental health help? Answer in the comments.