Anyone who’s been in therapy a while knows that some weeks flow better than others. Sometimes important topics just come out and you get a lot of work done. Other weeks, you have no idea of what to say. So for those weeks, here are seven things that can be helpful to talk about in therapy.
1. Things you have strong emotional reactions to
Sometimes we don’t know how powerful something is until it throws us off guard. If you are having a disproportionately large reaction to something, it is probably worth talking about. The other day a relative asked me something seemingly benign, but I was fuming about it hours later. That indicates to me that it’s a topic that should be given attention in therapy.
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It seems very basic, but talk about the things that are important to you on an everyday basis. It could be arguments with roommates about chores or the fact that you can’t fall asleep at night. Evaluate your basic routine and look at what impacts how your day goes. Who knows, maybe skipping breakfast is what’s making you irritable.
3. Insights you have between sessions
Therapy is work that continues outside of your scheduled appointments. Thoughts will roam around your head and when something clicks, write it down. By sharing with your therapist the connections you make, he can build on that with additional insights. Keep a journal or just a note on your phone where you put keywords to help you remember your thoughts.
4. Upcoming decisions
Think about your upcoming decisions. Sometimes you think you know what you want, but talking about it makes you realize that you’re actually looking for something else. It can be as big as retirement plans or as small as what to do next weekend. A few well-thought out questions can help you see what you really want and how to obtain it.
5. Whatever you are avoiding
If you are avoiding something, there’s a reason for it. It might be a friend, a specific assignment at work or buying groceries. It can be very hard to actively initiate a conversation about something you are deliberately trying to get away from, but it’s important to understand why you have your aversions. You don’t always have to approach what you are avoiding, but you need to know why it’s happening.
6. Dreams and daydreams
When we’re not forcing our minds to do deliberate tasks, it frees up room to let deeper thoughts and feelings emerge. Perhaps the best example is dreams. Not all therapists work with dreams and some are better at it than others. But it’s worth asking about and if there is very obviously something there, she should be willing to look at it. Daydreams are also worth exploring.
7. Questions
As you go about your week, you might suddenly have questions about something related to therapy. When you have a new diagnosis, lots of questions emerge as you strive to understand what you are dealing with. Write a list of things you are wondering about and give it to your therapist so he can answer what he knows and look into what he doesn’t know.
What topics do you bring up in therapy when nothing pressing is going on? Answer in the comments.
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