5 paths to self-discovery

One of the primary purposes of therapy is to learn more about yourself. This process of self-discovery allows you to understand what’s going on with you, which then leads to better decisions that create a happier life. But finding out who you are doesn’t have to be limited to an hour a week. There are other ways to discover new things about yourself.

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1. Make a timeline

Using a poster board (or just lots of paper taped together), create a timeline of your life. Include major events (starting kindergarten, first boy/girlfriend, death of grandparent), but also changes in who you are (depressive episodes, discovering hobbies, learning the importance of self-care). Alternately, you can have a sheet of paper for every year of your life. If you put this in a binder, you can add to it as time goes on. You can even use pictures. As you look through your timeline, you can discover patterns in your life or connections you would not otherwise have made. For instance, did your anxiety start at the same time you switched schools? This, and the rest of your timeline, is useful information to share with your therapist.

2. Meditation/spiritual practice

We all try to get a sense of how we, as individuals, connect to the larger “whole” of humanity and the universe. Many people find this meaning in spiritual practices. No matter what your belief system is, it can help you discover purpose within your life. Meditation is one practice that can be applied across religions (or the lack thereof). The concentration required for meditation opens your mind up to new insights and ideas. Other spiritual practices – such as prayer, worship or talking to a religious leader – can also be profound ways to learn about yourself.

3. Trying new things

Remember when you were a kid and something on your plate looked gross and you didn’t want to eat it? A parent probably told you that you don’t know you don’t like it until you try it. This principle can be very widely applied. You don’t know how you’ll feel about new activities and experiences until you have actually attempted them. Finding new interests through exploration and experimentation lets you discover parts of you that you didn’t even know were there. Alternately, if something doesn’t resonate with you, that says something about you, too. Do something you would not normally do. Go see a play in the park, try your hand at tennis or go to a foreign restaurant to see if, yes, you like it because you tried it. 

4. Journaling

Writing can be a very powerful tool of self-discovery. The process of putting words on paper brings up things you didn’t know were there, allowing new information about yourself to surface. It also gives you a record throughout time, allowing you to see how you’ve progressed in your thinking and your recovery. It is a mindful and in-depth form of looking at things. Journaling can be done in many ways. You can do it freestyle where you just go with whatever comes along or you can work with prompts. A list of them can be found here. 

5. Ask questions

Children learn more content in a shorter amount of time than adults do. That is, in part, because kids ask so many questions. As we get older, we like to think we have things figured out, but embracing that you don’t know everything will ultimately make you wiser. Ask yourself questions about yourself, the people around you and larger issues. Why is your favorite color the one it is? Why do people tend to cut conversations short with you? How do you feel about sending people to prison? By actually examining yourself and the world around you, you get a fuller understanding of who you are, what matters to you, what you believe in, what your priorities are, who you want to become and so on. 

How do you learn more about yourself? Tell your self-discovery stories in the comments.