One of the saddest situations is hurting someone under the disguise of love. Unfortunately, abuse in the dating setting happens much too often. A third of adolescents are victims of abuse by a dating partner, while 43% of college women experience violent or abusive dating behaviors. Clearly, things can go sour long before moving in together or saying, “I do.”
Dating violence happens in many ways. Most commonly, there can be physical, sexual, verbal or emotional abuse. This doesn’t have to be extreme behavior in order for it to be legitimately abusive. You don’t have to break bones – a slap or a shove is physical violence, too. Rape is one form of sexual assault, but unwanted touching is as well. Verbal abuse may escalate to threats, but can start out with name calling or simply making you feel bad about yourself. Before controlling everything you do, an emotional abuser may start with something seemingly minor, like insisting you dress a certain way or constantly asking about where you are and what you’re doing. Abuse is abuse, no matter the degree, and abuse is wrong.
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There is a high emotional and psychological toll to dating violence. It sets up a pattern that allows for future abuse. It increases the risk of drug and alcohol abuse, as well as risky sexual behaviors. These things, if unchecked, can lead to a lifetime of pain. It gets so bad that half of all young people who experience both dating violence and rape attempt suicide.
You can also experience mental illness as a result of dating violence. Depression, anxiety, phobias, posttraumatic stress disorder and sexual concerns are but a few of the potential results. Even if no specific disorder manifests, therapy may be necessary due to the stress and distortion resulting from being in a violent relationship.
Unfortunately, leaving these types of relationships can be risky. If someone can hurt you while claiming to love you, you bet (s)he can retaliate if you try to end the relationship. Timing and safety are very important when leaving abusive relationships. This is one reason professional help is important. Creating a safety plan can honestly be a life-saver. If you are experiencing dating violence, talk to your therapist. If you feel you are in immediate danger, call 911. Otherwise, a list of some additional resources are below.
Loveisrespect
www.loveisrespect.com
1-866-331-9474
Text loveis to 22522
Chat available on website
National Domestic Violence Hotline
www.thehotline.org
1-800-787-3224
Chat available on website
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)
www.rainn.org
1-800-656-4673
Chat available on website
Have you experienced dating violence? Share your stories and advice in the comments.
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