100 ways to improve your mental health

We’ve reached a milestone today – this is my 100th post! To celebrate, I decided to make a list of 100 things. The most helpful idea that came to mind was ways to improve mental health, so here it is. I have broken the list down into categories so that you can find the ones that are the most relevant for what you are working on. (Another milestone: Happy birthday, A. You’re my favorite.)

  

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Emotionally

1. Honor your emotions for what they are and accept them fully.

2. Do something that makes you happy every day.

3. Remember that feelings are temporary; they will always change.

4. Express your emotions creatively.

5. Ask for help when you feel overwhelmed.

6. Know when to back out of a situation.

7. Stop your thinking and ask yourself what you are actually feeling and why.

8. Use a feelings chart to identify what you are experiencing.

9. Surround yourself with little things that make you happy – flowers, art, scented candles, etc.

10. Find positive and uplifting entertainment.

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Mentally

11. Stay in the present.

12. Deal with stress as it comes up.

13. Eliminate bad habits. 

14. Set realistic goals and work towards them.

15. Stop using negative words to describe yourself.

16. Reward yourself for doing difficult things.

17. Take a break when you need it.

18. Find new ways to do things.

19. Stop and consider other perspectives on what you’re experiencing.

20. Use good common sense.

                                                                                              Physically

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21. Exercise regularly.

22. Take time to relax.

23. Eat three meals a day.

24. Take your medication as prescribed.

25. Stay at a healthy weight. 

26. Get enough sleep.

27. See a doctor when you need to.

28. Choose healthy food.

29. Stay away from harmful substances.

30. Love your body as best you can.

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Socially

31. Rely on your support system.

32. Spend time with other people regularly.

33. Be a helpful friend.

34. Respect the needs of others and expect that they do the same.

35. Engage in volunteer work.

36. Eliminate negative influences in your life.

37. Set and keep healthy boundaries.

38. Make time for yourself.

39. Be clear in your communication.

40. Be considerate.

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Intellectually

41. Be educated about your disorder(s).

42. Learn something new every day.

43. Study things you genuinely find interesting.

44. Study something you know absolutely nothing about.

45. Do mind exercises like sudoku, crossword puzzles and word games.

46. Talk to other people about what they do.

47. Take an evening or community course.

48. Think up funny jokes and witty responses.

49. Take notes when you are learning about something. Refer to them later.

50. Do calculations in your head instead of using your phone.

Spiritually

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51. Practice mindfulness

52. Meditate and/or pray.

53. Eliminate unhealthy beliefs.

54. Rely on a higher power.

55. Learn about the beliefs of others.

56. Journal about your spiritual experiences.

57. Share your spiritual experiences with open-minded loved ones.

58. Forgive.

59. Find or decide on your life’s purpose and live it.

60. Stay true to what you believe.

                                                             Environmentally

                                                             61. Surround yourself with beautiful things.

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62. Hang up motivational posters.

63. Spend time in nature.

64. Keep your home clean.

65. Use sticky notes to post affirmations where you’ll see them frequently.

66. Support any environmental causes you believe in.

67. Use your resources well.

68. Take basic safety precautions.

69. Repair broken things so they don’t continue to frustrate you.

70. Stay organized.

Occupationally

71. Do things you love.

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72. Know your limits when it comes to work.

73. Develop schedules and routines.

74. Simplify your work.

75. Get support from colleagues when necessary.

76. Keep good boundaries between your personal and professional lives.

77. Compliment coworkers on a job well done.

78. If you are unhappy in your job, look for a new one.

79. Multitask less.

80. Take a day off when you need to.

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Self-care

81. Journal regularly. 

82. Go for a walk.

83. Make your favorite meal.

84. Use grounding techniques.

85. Have a list of coping skills.

86. Be patient.

87. Keep a gratitude journal.

88. Go easy on yourself.

89. Respect yourself.

Other

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91. Stand up for yourself.

92. Believe you can get better.

93. Keep a beginner’s mindset.

94. Learn from every experience.

95. Keep some money in savings.

96. Have alternatives for self-destructive behaviors.

97. Be prepared for change.

98. Have a safety plan.

99. Stay progress-oriented.

100. Make a list of personal reasons to recover.

Do you have any tips to add? Please do so in the comments!

My top 10 posts

The next post I make will be number 100 and I have a special post coming up for that. Here at number 99, I figured I’d look back at my top 10 most popular posts. They cover a variety of topics and exercises to do at home.

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10. Lapse, relapse and recovery

“Part of recovery is relapse. It's almost expected. At some point, after things have gotten better, they'll probably get worse again. The truth is, though, that your attitude towards relapses will have a big impact on how you handle them and whether you can use them to grow.”

9. 7 signs you need a new therapist

“Not every therapist is a good match for every client. This means that sometimes, finding someone else is the best thing to do to progress in your recovery. There are, of course, reasons to stay with the one you have. By working through your differences, you develop a stronger bond and learn how to manage relationships outside the therapy room. But if any of the following points are a problem, then it might be time to find someone new.”

8. 10 journal prompts to improve relationships

“Journaling is a very powerful way to explore yourself and come to a better understanding of who you are. I thought we’d look at some other ideas to write about. This time, we’ll take a look at questions that can help you improve your relationships.”

7. Learning to trust your therapist

“It’s hard to make progress in therapy if you don’t trust your therapist. Trust is essential to the therapeutic relationship, which in turn is essential to recovery. But for many people, it’s by no means easy to open up to a complete stranger and talk about the most personal parts of their lives. This is where trust building comes in.”

6. 10 signs of mental illness you should never ignore

“There are a lot of symptoms of mental illness, more than anyone can list off the top of their heads. But some are more severe than others. Here are a few of the ones where you should immediately seek advice from a mental health professional.“

5. You don’t need to justify your mental illness

“You might have certain beliefs that invalidate your mental illness. They might be reasons why you shouldn’t be mentally ill or why your illness is not that serious. You may even feel guilty for seeking treatment. One of the biggest causes for these thoughts is comparison to others.”

4. 15 Best Picture winners about mental illness

“The entertainment industry has a tremendous power in shaping the public view of mental health topics. With Silver Linings Playbook, a romantic comedy featuring a protagonist with bipolar disorder, up for eight awards at tonight's Academy Awards, attention is currently being focused on the challenges faced by those affected by mental health conditions.”

3. 3 art therapy exercises to do at home

“Art therapy is a form of treatment that allows for expression beyond words. It gives you a chance to look at your problems in a different way and learn more about yourself. Today I thought I'd share three different exercises you can do at home. I've included examples of my own work.”

2. 20 questions to ask a potential therapist

“First sessions with therapists can be kind of like first dates or job interviews. You want to find someone who is a good fit for you, so you ask a lot of questions. Figuring out what to ask, however, might not be the easiest thing to do while you’re in the moment. Pick whichever of the following questions are the most important to you and bring a list to your fist session. It’s better to know sooner rather than later if your therapist is the right person for you to be working with.”

1. 15 journal prompts to increase self-reflection

“Journaling can be a great way of expressing what is going on inside of you. Writing forces you to slow down your thinking and be more mindful of your words, leading you to reach a deeper understanding of what you are going through. This can help you gain insights that let you progress on your journey towards healing.”

What have your favorite posts been? If you tell me in the comments, I can write more like them.

A case for family treatment

We cannot escape family. Their presence or absence will always impact us on some level because family is interconnected in a way that nothing else is. It’s foundational to who we are. A family can be composed in many ways – with blood being only one possible tie – and we will all have different “families” throughout our lifetimes. Sometimes we may be more alone than others, but we all started in a family and that is paramount to the people we become.

There’s an analogy that compares a family to a mobile or a wind chime. There are independent units, but you can’t move one without moving the others. Everything we do impacts our families – and everything they do impacts us. For instance, if a child graduates high school and moves out to go to college, the family has to readjust to the environment without that person. This can mean practical changes, such as redistributing chores, or emotional ones, like when the sibling closest to the one who moved feels left out and has to form new bonds with the remaining family.

  

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There’s a concept in psychology called the “identified patient” (IP). The IP is the family member who has a “problem.” This could be an alcoholic parent, a child failing out of school or someone struggling with physical or mental illness. Everyone else in the family can convince themselves that they are okay because they are not the IP. In this way, all the problems of the entire family get shifted on to one person. 

This isn’t done with bad intentions. Often, the family has benevolent or fond feelings for the IP. A wife will make excuses for her partner’s absences due to a drug problem in order to save face or get him off the hook. A parent gives a child lots of attention because she’s acting out at school. A teenager is happy to have an ill brother because he distracts the parents so she can rebel. This isn’t the family being mean. It’s the family adjusting.

These adjustments that are made for the IP do, however, have consequences. The wife is saving the husband from the repercussions of his drug problem, enabling him to continue to use. The siblings of the “problem child” feel like their parents don’t care about them. The sister gets in trouble because the parents were busy caring for the sick brother. Trying to cover up the problem is just creating more problems, but because they aren’t the IP, the other family members eschew their own troubles in favor of those of the IP.

Remember that mobile? One person “moves” by having a problem and everyone else shifts their problems somewhere else. 

This brings up the question of where the real problem lies. Is the identified patient of concern, or is it the family as a whole? What starts out as an obstacle for one family member can set off a chain reaction wherein everyone becomes involved.

So what happens when the IP gets better? First of all, the family often stands in the way of the IP improving. If her problems are resolved, then theirs become real again. While the family wants what’s best for the IP, they also want to retain the balance they have established. They might even fear becoming the next IP because the family doesn’t know how to function without one. 

This is why family treatment is so important. It allows all the cards to be put on the table, making it easier to notice connections between family members and their various problems. Sometimes, having a mental health professional take a look at your family unit as a whole can help all of the family better understand what is going on and how to make the family healthier. Everyone’s problems get a chance to be addressed, not just the IP. A good therapist will know not to blame the IP for everything.

   

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Family treatment can cause upset, though. It’s a time of change as new habits and coping skills need to be put in place. It will bring out all sorts of things that no one knew were there and things might even feel worse for a while. But having the family unit heal both individually and as a whole is worth it. There is no price for having stronger, healthier bonds and better problem management. 

When each family member learns to see what he contributes to the problem, he can learn valuable information about how he relates to others, which will be useful in any type of relationship. As she examines her real issues and how she displaces them, she can learn to take more responsibility and thereby have more control over her life. None of us exist in isolation and none of us can heal that way.
                                                                                                                   Individual and common concerns are intricately
                                                                                                                   interwoven.

Even if all the family members aren’t struggling, consider getting treatment together anyway. If nothing else, the love and support shown by joining the treatment is irreplaceable. There is work that simply cannot be done in individual therapy. Besides, by learning healthier patterns, you can improve the lives of the generations to come by having and teaching the skills necessary to have a healthy and happy family.

Have you had any experiences with family treatment? Post your experience in the comments.

Annals of Idiocy: Discouraging Students who Need Help

Getting right to the point, it is highly irresponsible for anyone to discourage others who need help, especially adolescents and young adults.  It is tough enough for them to deal with fear, stigma, and the labyrinth of mental health care systems.  For them to break through such barriers only to have someone discourage them should outrage all of us.

In recent months there have been at least two cases of this irresponsibility.  In one, a journalist covering the issue of withdrawals from campus due to mental health issues, an admittedly complex process, allowed the following title to be used in a Huffington Post article: "Using College Mental Health Services Can Lead To Students Getting Removed From Campus".  In another an attorney allowed the following title in a Chronicle of Higher Education piece concerning the alleged mismanagement of therapy records in a rape case: "Raped on Campus? Don’t Trust Your College to Do the Right Thing", and then added further damage by stating "Students: Don’t go to your college counseling center to seek therapy."

It is not that the authors had no point to make.  I do not take issue with advocates calling attention to allegations that there may be problems in the application of procedures on some campuses.  But making sweeping condemnations of an entire field in a large country goes well beyond that.  The number of cases mentioned in articles or blog posts like these is typically very small, as it was in these articles.  This, friends, is what you call over-generalization.  There are over 1,000 college counseling centers in the United States providing millions of therapy sessions annually and they, I dare say, do so competently and with good results.  OK, so the ethics of blogging may be loose indeed, fine.  But these authors are advising potentially millions of our youth to avoid the most convenient, least costly, most specialized services for the college student population.  Doing so is patently absurd, hurtful, and wrong.

Sometimes, actual college counselors are quoted in the articles, but generally very few.  Even rarer are articles written by someone who actually does the work.  Say what you will about attorneys and journalists, but the fact is they do not know, and cannot know, the work from the inside.  They are not managing extremely challenging circumstances while being intimately knowledgeable about and adhering to our specific professional codes of ethics.

Students, listen to those who do the work.  Use your campus counseling service.