We all have those moments where we are hit with something overwhelming. Whether it be an argument, a panic attack or a piece of bad news, our gut reactions aren’t always the most helpful. That’s why it’s important to have coping strategies for those first few moments. Try one of these techniques the next time you need to stay calm while dealing with a big emotion.
1. Use breathing techniques
There’s a breathing trick I have been using lately to help calm down and refocus. First, you close your eyes. Feel everything that’s inside you and pick a word that best describes your emotions. Now, forget about that while you breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts and breathe out for eight counts, thinking only of your breath (or, if you’re like me, the counting). Do this three times, then check inside again and label your emotion. You should be seeing at least some improvement. Keep doing this as many times as you feel necessary.
 |
| David Castillo Dominici/FreeDigitalPhotos.net |
There are things we simply cannot change. They happen and we have to deal with them. Instead of thinking thoughts like, “This can’t be happening!” or “That’s completely wrong!”, try just accepting it. Your outrage is not going to change the situation. Accepting is not the same as agreeing. Accepting means facing reality for what it is instead of delving into your own pathology. By trying to make something different than what it is, you are wasting your time and mental resources. Make the decision to accept whatever happened and then see how you can have a helpful reaction.
3. Take a break
There are some situations that have to be dealt with immediately, but often you don’t actually have to respond at once. When you are overwhelmed, step aside from the incident until you can gather yourself. You can tell the others involved that you need a moment, but you can also take a timeout without letting on why. Just go to the bathroom or say that you need to check that you turned off the stove. Anything is helpful. Another trick for smaller breaks is to have a drink with you. When you need a moment, just take a sip. It’s amazing how big of a difference a few seconds can make.
4. Ask for help
If someone else is in a position to be helpful, just ask. If it’s difficult for you, it’s often difficult for someone else, too. They’ll understand and do what they can. You can call a sister and vent, go out on the town with a friend or simply ask your therapist to hand you a tissue. Feeling alone in a situation can make it so much worse, so showing yourself that you are loved and cared for can be very calming.
5. Express yourself
Sometimes, feelings demand action. Some of the options that occur to us are healthy; some are not. Pause to make sure your action is appropriate before you act. Punching a wall might sound therapeutic, but you can hurt yourself and/or the wall. You could hit a pillow a few times instead. If appropriate, you could also respectfully state out loud what you are feeling and experiencing. If you don’t have the option of expressing yourself in the moment, make a mental note of how you will do it later. This could be journaling, exercising or talking to your therapist, for instance. Knowing that you have an outlet later can help you better focus in the moment.
What do you do in the moments you are overwhelmed? Give your own tips in the comments.
No comments:
Post a Comment