Concerns entering therapy, part 2 of 2

Part 1

As promised, here's the continuation of Thursday's post covering concerns you might have entering therapy.

Will you tell anyone what I tell you?

The short answer is no, not unless absolutely necessary. If you are a danger to yourself or other or disclose child or elder abuse, the therapist might have to step in. Additionally, he can disclose some information if given a court order, but he will only give the least amount of information necessary. The only other time is as a part of medical records, but those are confidential anyway. For a more thorough look at this subject, read this.

Will you understand me?

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We all long to be understood, but ultimately, we're the only ones who will understand ourselves. That doesn't mean that it's not worth trying to know someone. More or less by definition, a therapist is trying to understand you. She won't get everything, but she'll know what questions to ask to help get a better idea of what you're going through.

It can also be a good thing that your therapist doesn't understand you completely. If you were going off of your own insights and it worked, you wouldn't be seeking therapy in the first place. We go to get a different perspective. Your therapist will notice things about you that you never saw. Through a shared process, the two of you can work together to form a more complete picture of who you are.

Will you respect my values and worldview?

What you believe is a huge part of who you are. This means that it's going to come up as part of your therapy. But this is where it is especially important to find a therapist who is a good fit. When assessing a potential therapist, let him know what's important to you in life. Ask about any specific concerns you might have regarding your therapist's openness to your particular beliefs. Therapists are trained to work with clients of varying backgrounds without letting their own values interfere. Of course, everyone is human, but it's something therapists stay aware of and check in with themselves on.

If you don't feel comfortable with someone, it's going to impair your work together. But remember to be open. If you feel like your therapist is disrespecting your values and beliefs, say something. Having a therapist is a relationship. Relationships have ruptures sometimes. It is good to learn how to work through those in a healthy way and therapy is an excellent opportunity to do so. Research has consistently shown that therapeutic alliance is one of the biggest factors in accounting for change in therapy.


It can be overwhelming to start telling a stranger about the most intimate parts of your life. Remember that you don't have to dump everything out in the first session. Find someone you can trust and learn how to work with that person. If you are worried about something, it's always okay (and maybe even helpful) to ask.

What have been your concerns regarding going into therapy? How did you resolve them? Please share your story.